Howard Marks Turned Down Our Bong: The 1999 Eclipse Festival That Nobody Came To

Three million people were coming to Cornwall for the 1999 total eclipse. About 350,000 turned up. One of them was Howard Marks, and he turned down our bong. Twice.

Three million visitors (allegedly)

It was the first total eclipse visible in the UK since 1927, and Cornwall was going to be the best seat in the house. The county council hired an eclipse co-ordinator, who forecast three million visitors and then spent months warning about gridlock, food shortages and the roads seizing up. People believed him and stayed at home. The real figure was closer to 350,000.

Meanwhile, everybody and their dog had put on a week-long festival. The Lizard Eclipse Festival, up on Goonhilly Downs, had room for 20,000 and a line-up with James, the Levellers, Kula Shaker, Snow Patrol, Nigel Kennedy and a stack of the best DJs of the time. Down the road there was Eclipse ’99 at Carlyon Bay and Sun’Shadow ’99 at Dobwalls, all after the same crowd that never came.

Dead. So dead.

It was dead. It was so dead. As far as I know, the entire eclipse thing was dead. Every festival was dead, and most of them went bust.

This one, apparently, the security ran the gates, because the guy who was putting the festival on ran off and nobody got paid. So yeah, super empty. But they all were.

Performers, traders and crew all got stiffed. The Lizard had even been told at the last minute not to sell tickets on the gate, so people were sent back to Helston to buy a wristband, and plenty just jumped the fence instead. The one consolation: the Lizard was one of the few places in Cornwall where the clouds parted for the eclipse. Cornwall Live did a full write-up of the disaster, and there’s a documentary about it, Lizard Rocks by Jed Trewin, on YouTube.

Mr Nice on the stall

Howard Marks was doing a show there that night. He turned up at the stall and tried scoring off us. Obviously, we don’t do that kind of thing. But we did offer him a go on the four-foot bong, and on Jimmy’s Lung.

He turned down a go on both of them.

Nice fella, though. Just a normal conversation. A cool dude.

“I’ve never turned down a bong”

Me and Jimmy went to see his show that night. It was packed, to be fair, and it was good.

But he did start off by saying: “I’ve never turned down a bong or a spliff in my life.”

And me and Jimmy just stuck our hands up. Because he’d literally just turned down two.

Somebody’s since found home video from that weekend: P.A.I.N. featuring Howard Marks, “Let Me Grow More Weed”, live at the Lizard in 1999.

The morning after, at Crantock

One of the funniest bits came after. We ended up at a beach called Crantock. The place was full of wild campers and campfires, and we managed to get something to eat.

A girl who took a liking to Jimmy slept in the van with him. Even though there were three of us in the van. She only had a nightie on.

We woke up in the morning, and her dad and everybody who was giving her a lift home to Nottingham had gone. Left her with us.

So we had a 14-hour drive back. Then Jimmy couldn’t take her home, so I had to take her back to our house. She stayed with us for a few days while we clothed and fed her. Crazy.

Were you there?

Were you at the Lizard for the eclipse? In the crowd for Howard’s show? Or are you the girl in the nightie? Let us know.

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